Xenosaga Roundrobin 1: Godzilla TwoPointOh
by TheShoelessOne
Summary: A roundrobin by Erin, KerKer, and Nikisama. Ever wonder what would happen if the crew encountered Godzilla 2.0? How about if KOSMOS used the deadly FCAKE? Find out within!


AN: Me, my sister and my best friend wrote these round-robin stories when we were up until 5:00 in the morning on a sugar-high from too much Sprite Remix, so... I think that might explain some things... Anyway, read on! But I must warn you... insanity ensues within.  
  
A thin figure glided through the forest on angelic wings. It stopped in front of a clearing that wielded a crystal blue lake that shone with the reflection of moon.  
  
"chaos!" a voice called. The person turned quickly, letting their wings meld back into his back. A boy looking about 12 shoved his way into the clearing behind him, a thin branch whapping his across the face. The newcomer grumbled, wiping the leaves from his face. chaos smiled and suppressed a laugh. The younger one glared up at him.  
  
"You got a bone to pick with me, angel-boy?!" he asked, his hand straying to his gun. The silver-haired boy shook his head, laughing.  
  
"No, Jr... Put up your gun." chaos said, walking over to the moonlit lake. Jr., still angry that the lithe boy could make it to the lake faster than him, grumbled and walked over to the lake's edge. "Are the others far behind?" chaos asked. Jr. shook his head.  
  
"Allen's hair got caught in a branch a while back, but other than that, not really, I guess. The cyborg should be right behind-"  
  
Then suddenly a huge monster foot crashes into the pool, making it splash into chaos and Jr.'s faces. When they looked up, they saw it was Godzilla 2.0! Jr. was at first frightened and started shooting it over and over but it would not penetrate the monster's hard skin.   
  
"I.. it won't die! We need reinforcements!" Jr. yelled, backing up. He accidentally backed up into Ziggy. "Ziggy!" Jr. said, "You and chaos distract it as I go get help, we can't let any more innocent die!" With that, Jr. ran off.  
  
Ziggy blinked in confusion. 'Wha?' chaos looked around for something to distract the monster. He spied a fish stand nearby.  
  
'Oy! Ziggy! Catch!' he yelled. Ziggy turned around to face the boy with the hair flower just in time to be smacked in the face with a fish.  
  
'Ack!' he yelped. 'What was that for?!?' He glared at chaos and bit into the fish.  
  
'I really couldn't tell you...' chaos said, holding back laughter. Godzilla 2.0 watched and looked like he was enjoying the random fish-slapping.  
  
Ziggy looked around him frantically for something. 'Hey chaos! It's being distracted!' He spied a pastry stand. 'Eat cake!' he yelled. He leaped up into the air and unleashed a barrage of little cakes and other fluffy treats. chaos was knocked backwards and fell into the lake.  
  
Godzilla 2.0, enraged that one of the act had fallen, reached into the lake and scooped chaos up from the water. Ziggy blinked a few times, because this monster didn't look anything like Godzilla, but more of a "loch ness monster" thing. Godzilla 2.0 set chaos back on the shore, then, in a deep booming voice said.  
  
"Snurvle shloggado-ble baytyu reem!"  
  
"What the..." Ziggy murmured. The monster cleared its throat.  
  
"Sorry, had a fishbone in my throat. Anyway, if you don't continue to throw amusing little cakes, I shall be forced to destroy you. Now... Let the caking begin!"  
  
Ziggy and chaos both looked at each other in apprehension, then Ziggy suddenly whipped out his BMPS55X and began firing small cupcakes at chaos.  
  
chaos shielded himself with angel wings, then squished together a bunch of cakes from a different cake stand placed conveniently next to him. He jumped up in the air with the ball of cake-y goodness and smiled evilly at Ziggy. Because of the evil grin, however, chaos's wings disappeared, causing him to fall and the mass of cake to land on him. The monster started cracking up... literally.  
  
"The laughing is destroying him slowly, quick! We need more cake!" chaos said. Ziggy looked around.  
  
"Sorry bub, fresh out." Said the pastry man as he packed up and left the forest. Ziggy and chaos looked at each other. Godzilla 2.0 stopped laughing and stared at them.  
  
"CAKES! MORE CAKES!" He yelled.  
  
"Uhm.. we have no more..."  
  
"NO MORE CAKES?!" Godzilla yelled he roared and started stomping through the forest.  
  
"We have to stop him until Jr. comes..!" Ziggy yelled, "But...how?!"  
  
"Mystic powers..." a meek voice sounded in the forest behind the two. Ziggy turned at the sound, "Grant me a cake!"As soon as she finished the sentence, MOMO crashed into the clearing, holding an enormous cake. Ziggy held out his hands in defense, but in vain as MOMO's huge pink cake collided with him, splattering fresh cake all over his cyborg body. Ziggy's eyes contracted in fear and horror. chaos laughed mirthlessly. Godzilla 2.0 noticed the Ziggy covered in the comical pink cake, and he began to laugh again. A large crack started forming down his middle. Ziggy faced MOMO.  
  
"Next time you summon a cake, please, PLEASE... DON'T do that again."  
  
Jr. suddenly burst into the clearing with the others. He took in the scene around him. chaos quickly explained the situation to everyone.  
  
'Alright! KOS-MOS! Use F-Cake transformation!' Shion barked. KOS-MOS nodded, her blue hair spilling over her shoulders. She glowed and turned into a cake stand. MOMO stood behind the counter and started making cakes rapidly.  
  
'Come on, Allen! Help me make cakes!' Shion ordered.  
  
'Yes Chief!' They started making cakes.  
  
Suddenly KOS-MOS' stomach opened up and millions of beams of cake splattered upon the whole crew, making the cakes MOMO made splatter upon Shion and Allen also. The Godzilla cracked up so hard that he exploded and then there were Godzilla pieces all over everybody too.  
  
Now, everyone covered in cake and Godzilla pieces, they were all ready to jump into the un-Godzilla-d lake. Jr. and Shion were the first to jump in, water flying up into the air and splashing onto the shore. All others but Ziggy decided to jump in as well. The poor cyborg, still covered in the horrid pink cake, stood nervously on the shore. MOMO laughed and splashed water up at her friend.  
  
"Come on in, Ziggy!" she called. Ziggy backed up.  
  
"I don't think that would be wise," Ziggy told her. She cocked her head and asked why. "I would probably kill you all." he answered. MOMO's eyes, wide with fear, slowly turned back to her other friends.  
  
Suddenly, Gaignun Kukai walked into the clearing with a girl on his arm. 'Hey, Gaignun! Heya, "Momma Kukai!"' Jr. called. 'Wanna join us?'  
  
'Can't,' Gaignun said. 'Business.'  
  
'Why'd you stop by then?' chaos asked.  
  
'Two reasons,' "Momma Kukai", or Nikita (her real name) said, holding up two fingers. A girl with brown hair and a black sleeved baseball shirt-jersey... thing... ran out from behind Gaignun and hugged Jr. Her shirt said 'Property of Kukai Foundation'.  
  
"Ker!" Jr. laughed as he was being glomped. Everyone looked on in confusion.  
  
"Who's Ker..? And who's Momma Kukai?" Ziggy asked.  
  
"This is Kerri, my wife!" Jr. said. MOMO started crying but Jr. talked over her. "And that person Gaignun is holding is Niki-sama, Gaignun's wife!"  
  
Everyone is shocked. Then someone else comes walking through the forest.  
  
The figure, cloaked in orange, came dashing from the forest in a mad run. Her eyes were glazed over with emotion. With a leap of unthinkable proportions, she threw herself at Ziggy, which would really hurt, if you think about it. With a cry full of love, she hugged the poor cyborg.  
  
"ZIGGY-CHAN!!" she cried, hugging him. The whole clearing became deathly silent. Ziggy blinked a few times, then pointed at the girl clinging to him.  
  
"This is Erin," he told them. The girl nodded furiously. Allen pouted.  
  
"Hey, I want a groupie..."  
  
"She isn't my groupie," Ziggy said, an annoyed tone to his voice, "she's my-"  
  
With a deafening roar, the pieces of Godzilla 2.0 began reforming into its original shape. Ziggy held his head in his hands and shook his head.   
  
"Why us?" he asked.  
  
'Um... Is there any more cake?' chaos asked frantically. Everyone looked around. Not a cake in sight.  
  
'KOS-MOS! Can you use F-Cake again?' Shion asked.  
  
'I can only use it once per battle, Shion.' she replied.  
  
"I am Godzilla 3.0!" They monster screamed. "Cakes do not amuse me and I enjoy destroying Tokyo. Now, who are you all?" He said politely.  
  
"I'm Jr., in my spare time, I--"  
  
"Hey this is not a time from introductions!" Shion yelled.  
  
"Aw come on, Chief. It's just harmless..." Suddenly Allen was eaten.  
  
"I also enjoy eating humans." Godzilla 3.0 finished, licking his lips.  
  
"BRO-BRO ALLEN!!" Erin cried, "NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!" The girl with orange hair was about to leap at the monster, but Ziggy grabbed her hand.  
  
"What are you doing?" he asked her. Godzilla 3.0 belched loudly. Erin wrenched herself away from the cyborg's grasp.  
  
"I must save me Bro-Bro!" Erin cried as she threw herself through the open mouth of the belching monster. Ziggy sighed.  
  
"I have but one choice." With a swift jump Ziggy leapt in after her. chaos, Jr. and the others just blinked.   
  
"Does ANYONE know what's going on?" Gaignun asked.  
  
'Not really, Papa Kukai...' Ker said. She walked over and poked the monster in the gut. It blinked and looked at her.  
  
'What was that for?' it asked.  
  
'I likes you!' she said, hugging it. The monster looked around, confused. 'I now claim you as a pet!'  
  
'W-What is she doing, Jr.?' chaos asked, confused. 'Isn't she afraid she'll get eaten?'  
  
'This? Oh, it's perfectly normal. She does this to lots of things.' he replied nonchalantly.  
  
Suddenly, during the monster's glomping session, Niki grabbed a huge sword and slashed away at the monster's gut and all it's organs, Ziggy, Erin, and Allen all fell out. The monster stared at Niki.  
  
"Hey. That's not very nice." Godzilla said.  
  
"I was going to tell you, weapon don't kill it!" Jr. said.  
  
"We're going to have to kill some other way!" chaos said. Everyone stared at him.  
  
"Uhm, thanks for stating the obvious yet again. I'll remember that." Shion said. Godzilla roared and started stomping through the forest.   
  
"Wait!" Erin shouted, "While in its stomach, I figured out how to defeat this monster!" The whole party stared at the girl covered in stomach goop. Another few moments passed while the monster stomped away in the background. Shion, finally fed up with waiting, shouted at her.  
  
"Well, what is it, stomach diver?!" Shion yelled. She suddenly lost consciousness, however, as Ziggy's cyborg hand crashed into her face. Erin's eyes sparkled.Everyone but Allen clapped.  
  
"Please continue," Ziggy told her.   
  
"We must EAT it!" Erin said as she held up her forks that appear from nowhere at any given time (you never know when you want to eat). With another diving leap, the party jumped onto Godzilla 3.0 and began eating.  
  
'Wait! It'd prolly be better cooked!' Ker yelled. She grabbed Niki's sword and impaled Godzilla on it. 'KOS-MOS! Use F-Grill, please!'  
  
KOS-MOS nodded, then was surrounded by a beam of light. When it disappeared, there was a huge grill with blue hair and butt-spikes. Ker used the sword like a spit and started cooking the monster.  
  
'B-But I thought I was your pet...' the monster whined.  
  
'Yeah, well that went out the window.'  
  
Everyone laughed and then we all ate Shion too.   
  
"BWA-HAHAHAHAHA!!" Erin cried as she ate Shion and Godzilla 3.0. Jr. nudged Ziggy in the side (which would hurt Jr. if you really think about it) and whispered.  
  
"What do you see in her, anyway?" Jr. asked. Ziggy nudged Jr. in the ribs (which would REALLY hurt) and asked,  
  
"What do you see in HER, then?" he asked, looking to Ker crying while she ate the Godzilla 3.0  
  
"I LOVED YOU SO MUCH, ME PET!!" she cried as she stuffed another forkful into her mouth. Jr. sighed.  
  
"Fine, we're even." 


End file.
